What Kind of Runners Would These Literary Characters Have Been?

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Would Philip Marlowe have made it two miles before trying to order a scotch at the first water station? Would Miss Havisham only have entered costume races? Would Gandalf attempt to pass his staff on to others like a baton? We may never know the answers to these questions, but why should that stop us from guessing? Let’s look at some famous literary characters and examine what kind of runners they could have been.

Huckleberry Finn (Mark Twain, Huckleberry Finn) – Barefoot trail runner

Living the life of a free spirit who had a rough upbringing, the boy affectionately known as “Huck” tends to go his own way and ignores many social conventions. Having become a formidable trail runner by escaping danger on the banks of the Mississippi River, Huck is offered a scholarship by a southern university, but turns it down when he finds out classroom attendance is actually expected. He spends the next 20 years becoming a enigmatic legend and inspires an entire generation of eccentric minimalist runners.

Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Homes series) – Half-Marathoner, turned Triathlete

Methodical and analytic in his training, Holmes becomes a well-respected half-marathoner as he finds the perfect combination of calories and carbs to power through 13.1 miles. However, Holmes quickly becomes bored with the monotony of simply running and later turns to the triathlon in order to challenge himself further. Unfortunately, his experimentation in various nutritional supplements leads him to cocaine and morphine and he is given a lifetime ban by Professor Moriarty of the British Stimulant and Opiate Authority. He turns to detective work and seeks out revenge against them man who drove him away from the sport he loved.

Captain Ahab (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) – Obsessive Ultra Marathoner

This revenge-seeking Quaker takes out his thirst for vengeance by repeatedly trying to conquer the Badwater One Thirty Five. On several occasions he comes up just three miles short and is quoted as saying, “…to the last I grapple with three; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at three.” Ahab makes one last attempt at conquering the race, but only manages to end his own life and take out all but one of his support team. The surviving member – Ishmael – Is quoted as saying, “Not my fault. Dude had issues.”

Rhodian Romanovich Roskolnikov (Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment) – Sprinter

The young Russian speedster known to his fans as Rodya, is an up-in-coming athlete who specializes in the 100 meters and 400 meter relay. Tragically, he kills another competitor and steels his track shoes. The guilt becomes too much for him and he confesses all. He later becomes a celebrity in the Siberian Diamond League races.

Clarice Starling (Thomas Harris, Silence of the Lambs) – Marathon

Starling just keeps coming and coming and seems to have a drive that few can understand. A stanch vegetarian, who refuses to discuss this lifestyle choice, Starling darts through marathon crowds with her iPod mysteriously cranked up to the maximum volume. Other runners occasionally hear her mutter, “Make them shut up! Make the lambs shut the hell up!”

Atticus Finch (Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird)– Middle Distance Specialist

Whether it is a hilly 10K race or a 1600 meter thriller around the track, Finch is solid and reliable. The future attorney becomes known for his avid defense of another runner who was falsely accused of taking a shortcut during a road race. A pack of angry athletes threaten Finch’s family before a quiet stranger scares them off. Finch goes on to name a brand of running shoe after the stranger and, to this day, watching frenzied shoppers battle for a pair of “Boo Radleys” is a holiday season tradition.

Hester Prynne (Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter)

She’s great in the 5K, but intentionally slows down at the end to ensure she does not end up winning a medal that she would be expected to wear. “Been there, done that,” she explains.

What character do you like, and what kind of runner is he/she?

J.J. Hensley is the author of RESOLVE, which is a mystery set against the backdrop of the Pittsburgh Marathon
www.hensley-books.com
https://www.facebook.com/hensleybooks
https://www.goodreads.com/JJHensley

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